Staying Connected to Stepchildren After a Divorce | Allan Brandon Tise PLLC, Attorney at Law

March 26, 2022
Family of seven gathered outdoors, looking at a laptop computer on a grassy lawn.

The well-being of children often becomes the focus of a divorce. Stepparents may worry that they do not have the same parental rights. Being a stepparent does not mean the individual must walk away from a divorce and sever the ties with the children they love. Many divorcing couples can include visitation or shared custody of stepchildren in a divorce order
Negotiate with Parent
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 2000 that stepparents do not have rights that supersede those of biological parents. The ruling does not mean that stepparents have no options when a divorce happens. The easiest solution is to work with the biological parents to find a solution that appeals to everyone.
The stepparent should attempt an agreement with their former partner outside the courtroom. Couples that can peacefully negotiate a visitation agreement for the stepparent can save time and money in court. A lawyer can include the rights of the former stepparent to have the child a certain number of days each month or whenever is best for all involved.
Stepparents can encourage the biological parent (or parents if both currently share custody) by showing their desire to remain a beneficial influence in the life of the children. They may offer to help with daycare costs or continue to provide for the child as they did through the marriage. The details can vary according to the family and their needs.
Ask for Custody
Stepparents have the right in North Carolina to seek custody of their stepchildren in situations where the biological parents are unfit or have abrogated his/her constitutional protected status as the biological parent. To gain custody of stepchildren, the individual must first carry the burden of proof on one of these two, threshold criteria and then, if successful, must carry the burden of proof that it is in the best interest of the child for the stepparent to have custody or visitation.
Show proof of issues like domestic abuse, how the biological parents abandoned their children, or other situations where the children were uncared for or at risk. Stepparents should provide the court with evidence of their involvement in caring for the child during the marriage. Show this by offering documentation of financial support of the family, participation in school efforts, and other ways. Get evidence from daycare providers, neighbors, and anyone actively involved in the child's life.
Stay in Touch
Spouses may not have a good relationship with each other, but that does not mean anyone was a bad parent. Stepparents that cannot agree on a visitation schedule and cannot gain custody may need to find a different method of how they stay in contact with the children. A custody agreement can contain the right of the stepparent to maintain contact with the children through letters, cards, and texts. The connection can reassure the children that their former stepparent still loves them. The relationship can stay strong as the children mature and become adults who can choose to have their former guardian in their lives again.
Stepparents given the right to contact their former stepchildren should keep their communication about the child and not about the other parent. Any effort to emotionally divide the children from their biological parents could cause the contact to end
Children often struggle with the changes that occur after a divorce. Staying in touch with a stepparent can reassure kids and make the process less painful. A divorce does not mean stepparents will automatically lose their parenting role. Talk to Allan Brandon Tise PLLC, Attorney at Law , to discover the options available to you. Call today to schedule a consultation.

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