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Strategies for Making a Social Media Agreement With an Ex

When you're trying to navigate the tricky waters of a modern divorce, it is impossible to enjoy only smooth sailing. Some of the challenges you face along the way may involve social media. To simplify things and avoid complicated disputes, discuss social media with your soon-to-be ex as early in the divorce process as possible.

Consider these strategies for making a social media agreement that can help keep the peace between you and your ex. They can also help protect the privacy of the entire family, and your kids may benefit from the agreement in multiple ways.

Set Priorities and Encourage Your Ex to Do the Same

Social media is not a necessity for any adult. Even if you or your ex have a business to run, you can maintain a professional social media presence without keeping a personal one. Approach discussions about social media in a relaxed manner since it is an optional pleasure for you and your ex.

Ask your ex to determine what their social media priorities are prior to discussing the matter with you. Do the same. That way, when you meet up to figure out how you both want to proceed on social media after the divorce, you both are clear on what's most important to you.

If your ex wants to announce the divorce on social media, weigh that desire against how important protecting your privacy is. If you decide to post about the divorce on social media, have a detailed discussion about what each of you should and shouldn't reveal about the circumstances of the divorce.

Make Social Media Rules for Your Kids

Talk to your ex about what is acceptable for the kids to post online. Children and teenagers may want to vent a little with friends-only posts about the divorce. However, you can say no and set strict boundaries on social media privileges.

Your kids can always call friends or vent in person. Social media isn't the only outlet for venting for kids any more than it is for you and your ex. Don't give in to guilt trips if your children and teens try to talk you out of the rules. Instead, stand firm and explain to your kids that your goal is to protect them from the negative consequences of social media posts.

Set aside time to discuss the situation with your ex and don't end the discussion until you agree on social media rules for your kids. Possible rules for them include:
  • All social media posts must be kind to all members of the family. Kids should not be allowed to say unkind things about either parent or any siblings. Consider making that a blanket rule that includes friends, acquaintances, teachers, and others.
  • Kids may only share posts with a parent-approved list of friends. Privacy settings are ideal for protecting children from the prying eyes of strangers and those who may not have their best interests at heart.
  • Parents get to approve all posts. It's okay to ask your kids to clear all posts with you.
  • Specifics must be left out of posts. You may allow your children to vent about how they are feeling on social media if the post doesn't name names or fall into passive-aggressive territory. 
  • Be specific and consistent with all the social media rules you set. Let your kids know what will be expected of them during and after the divorce.
Finally, the best way to ensure that all your family members are on the same page regarding social media is to be open and up front about your expectations. For this and any other important matters regarding your divorce, discuss the matters with your divorce lawyer. Contact Allan Brandon Tise PLLC, Attorney at Law today for an initial consultation.

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